Oh Well.

So I am sadly not a semi-finalist for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. I wish the best of luck to those 50 that made it through!

I'm going on a blog-cation for at least a couple of weeks to deal with impending end-of-semester schoolwork, training a replacement at my job, and general post-book-draft fatigue.

I'm still alive and kicking, however, so I should be making blog rounds, leaving comments, and staying a general menace to society.

If you need me for whatever reason, feel free to contact at esolodow at gmail dot com.

Once I return, I intend to bring Movie Mondays back into full gear. So keep your eyes out!

Reminder.

The semi-finalists for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award are announced on Tuesday!

If you haven't read my excerpt for The Whip-Slip, please head over. If you don't have a Kindle, you can download a free reading app here.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Much love, Elena

Slogans.

For the marketing guru in us all:

The Hunger Games

"Find the tribute in you."

Harry Potter

"Life's full of magic. Get yours."

Twilight

"Forks. We sparkle."

Vampire Academy

"Not just for little dhampirs anymore."

Mortal Instruments

"We hunt in the shadows - so you don't have to."

The Knife of Never Letting Go

"Bring the Noise."

Graceling

"Got grace?"

Uglies

"It's ugly out there. Stay pretty."

Shiver

"All the temperature you need, when you need it."

Delirium

"Love is dead."

Got any more, rongdoers?

*** SITE UPDATE

I've added a page at the top called "Required Viewing", where you can find all the excerpt vlogs I've done so far with links to the author's blogs.

Filming will resume soon...sorry there has been such a long break!

Coffee Shop.

"Hi, what can I get for you today?"

"I'll have an 80,000-word urban fantasy dystopian with extra plot twist."

"Do you want whip cream in that?"

"Sure. And can you sprinkle some denouement on top?"

"No problem. Next!"

"Hi, could I get a middle-grade with speculative elements and a male main character?"

"What size?"

"About 60,000 words please."

"We only carry that in 12 to 20,000 words."

"Oh. Well, then give me a young adult contemporary, but leave out the angst."

"Next!"

"Do you have any mystery?"

"Our flavors are Victorian, contemporary, steampunk, or urban fantasy. You can also get that in sci-fi if you pay an extra quarter."

"Oh, gosh. I'll have to think..."

"Next!"

"I need to see your manager! Someone put dragons in my cup. I told them I was allergic to high fantasy."

"Sure. Next!"

"Can I get a non-fat soy latte with a shot of vanilla and one sugar, please?"

Blink.

The Networks.

A sit-down with the most popular social networks around:

GoodReads: Anyone read anything good recently?

Twitter: I can't tell you in the size of Tweet. Sorry.

Facebook: Be my friend, maybe I'll tell you.

Blogger: I don't do book reviews.

Tumblr: I just took a picture of my favorite books. Come see.

MySpace: Books? What are books? Who are you guys? I thought we were still using papyrus and ink! God, I'm behind the times...

Face-to-Face Conversation: You've got no idea, MySpace. *sigh*

What They Wrote.

PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by JAMES JOYCE

The artist, like the God of the creation, remains within or behind or beyond or above his handiwork, invisible, refined out of existence, indifferent, paring his fingernails. 

LIFE AS WE KNEW IT by SUSAN BETH PFEFFER

I guess I always felt even if the world came to an end, McDonald's would still be open.

1984 by GEORGE ORWELL

They could not alter your feelings; for that matter you could not alter them yourself, even if you wanted to. They could lay bare in the utmost detail everything that you had done or said or thought; but the inner heart, whose workings were mysterious even to yourself, remained impregnable."

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Reason is a scoundrel, stupidity is direct and honest.

STRANGE ANGELS by LILI ST. CROW

I'll take a plain girl with her head screwed on right over a cheerleader any day.

THE CASTLE by FRANZ KAFKA

...I dream of a grave, deep and narrow, where we could clasp each other in our arms as with iron bars, and I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST by KEN KESEY

He's got hands so long and white and dainty I think they carved each other out of soap, and sometimes they get loose and glide around in front of him free as two white birds until he notices them and traps them between his knees; it bothers him that he's got pretty hands.

THE KNIFE OF NEVER LETTING GO by PATRICK NESS

He smiles down at me, thru that beard of his, smiles down at me in the grass. A smiling fist.

THE MONK by MATTHEW LEWIS

An Author, whether good or bad, or between both, is an Animal whom every body is privileged to attack; For though All are not able to write books, all conceive themselves able to judge them.

NAKED LUNCH by WILLIAM BURROUGHS 

Rock and Roll adolescent hoodlums storm the streets of all nations. They rush into the Louvre and throw acid in the Mona Lisa's face.

REVOLUTION by JENNIFER DONNELLY

I don't like hope very much. In fact, I hate it. It's the crystal meth of emotions. It hooks you fast and kills you hard. It's bad news. The worst. It's sharp sticks and cherry bombs. When hope shows up, it's only a matter of time until someone gets hurt.

THE HANDMAID'S TALE by MARGARET ATWOOD

I sit at the little table, eating creamed corn with a fork.  I have a fork and a spoon, but never a knife.  When there's meat they cut it up for me ahead of time, as if I'm lacking manual skills or teeth.  I have both, however.  That's why I'm not allowed a knife.

ATLAS SHRUGGED by AYN RAND

He liked to observe emotions; they were like red lanterns strung along the dark unknown of another's personality, marking vulnerable points. But how one could feel a personal emotion about a metal alloy, and what such an emotion indicated, was incomprehensible to him; so he could make no use of his discovery.

THE SHADOW OF THE WIND by CARLOS RUIZ ZAFON

...a story is a letter the author writes to himself, to tell himself things that he would be unable to discover otherwise.

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES by KAMI GARCIA & MARGARET STOHL

Teenagers- everything is so apocalyptic.

LOOKING FOR ALASKA by JOHN GREEN

She looked at me and smiled widely, and such a wide smile on her narrow face might have looked goofy were it not for the unimpeachably elegant green in her eyes.  She smiled with all the delight of a kid on Christmas morning and said, 'Ya'll smoke to enjoy it.  I smoke to die.' 

BLOOD MERIDIAN by CORMAC MCCARTHY

The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night. His spirit is exhausted at the peak of its achievement. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day. He loves games? Let him play for stakes. This you see here, these ruins wondered at by tribes of savages, do you not think that this will be again? Aye. And again. With other people, with other sons.

THE AGE OF REASON by JEAN-PAUL SARTRE

Since then, Boris had regarded grown-ups as bulky and impotent divinities.

THE WIND-UP BIRD CHRONICLE by HARUKI MURAKAMI

Maybe the world has two different kinds of people, and for one kind the world is this completely logical, rice pudding place, and for the other it's all hit-or-miss macaroni gratin.

DELIRIUM by LAUREN OLIVER

Love: a single word, a wispy thing, a word no bigger or longer than an edge. That's what it is: an edge; a razor. It draws up through the center of your life, cutting everything in two. Before and after. The rest of the world falls away on either side. Before and after - and during, a moment no bigger or longer than an edge.

THE BOOK THIEF by MARKUS ZUSAK

So many humans. So many colors. They keep triggering inside me. They harass my memory. I see them tall in their heaps, all mounted on top of each other. There is air like plastic, a horizon like setting glue. There are skies manufactured by people, punctured and leaking, and there are soft, coal-colored clouds, beating like black hearts. And then. There is death. Making his way through all of it. On the surface: unflappable, unwavering. Below: unnerved, untied, and undone.

Hope you read something you liked. Have a good weekend. 

- Elena

Stop Hounding Me!

Just wanted to give everyone a heads-up that the lovely Stephanie is giving away her ARC of Hounded. In Steph's words, "It's Dresden Files meets American Gods. The funniest urban fantasy you'll ever read!"

Head over to Steph's blog to sign up. Right here.

The End.

Writing those words never gets old.

I wrote them just a couple hours ago, as I finished draft one of my fourth novel.

This is what we write for. The thrill of the finish. The hope that we've got something worth reading. The fear that we haven't.

First drafts are like cooking blind. You reach into the cabinet, pull out a bunch of foodstuffs and throw them in a bowl. A few hours (or days, or months) in the oven, you pull it out and see what you've got.

Could be worthy of Top Chef. Could be worthy of the garbage can.

But we keep going. We keep writing. That's what we're here to do, every day.

For now, I'm going to put frosting on this newly-baked wonder of mine. It'll spell out: THE END.

2-4 weeks of mind-rest for me before draft two begins. Can't wait to cook the next recipe...

You Slang Me.

Internet Slang For Writers:

BWB (Be Write Back)

WOFL (Writing On the Floor Laughing)

AOL (Adverbs Out Loud)

OMG (Oh My Genre)

WTFD (Writing the First Draft)

WMAO (Write My Ass Off)

NSFW (Not Safe For Writers)

G/W/D (Genre/Word Count/Draft)

WTYL (Write To You Later)

**Got any more?

When I Grow Up.

Okay, class, it's time to announce what you want to be when you grow up!

Tommy: An astronaut!

Abigail: A teacher!

Mike: A politician!

Suzie: A doctor!

Elena? What do you want to be?

Elena: I want to make up fictional worlds, work on a plot for a few years before quitting in a fit of agony, move on to something else and kill off a few characters, decide I want the theme of the new book to be the slow death of Middle America, then garner a real penchant for one-liners and metaphors that involve spiders. After that I'll get an ulcer from constant stress, spend too much money buying hardcover books and an external hard-drive, send queries 'til my fingers bleed, then waste away an entire day on Twitter stalking literary agents. By the time I get a book deal, I'll be old and decrepit, addicted to nicotene and the tang of Scotch. I'll own a cat...named Scotch. But my apartment will be rent-controlled and I'll be really talented at knitting. When they ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up?

I'll tell them I always wanted to be a writer. No matter what actually happens to me.

Draft One: The Game.

For those of you who have ever puzzled over directions to a board game, here's the writing version:

All players must choose a "Protagonist" card at the start of the game. The player with the strongest protagonist should go first.

If they roll a six, they must write outline first [see next page]. If they roll anything less than a six they must take a "pants" card. If the dice rolls off the board, player must choose an "outline" card and can immediately move to Act Two.

Start on "Chapter One" and continue until one player hits 30 Pages. Everyone draws an "Antagonist" card and must get through the inciting incident before proceeding.

Collect as many "obstacle" cards as you can until the end of the Act Two portion of the game. The player with the most "outline" cards can use the fast-tracks to get closer to Act Three.

Anyone with a "pants" card must travel the swamp route and defeat as many "subplot" cards as they can.

Everyone to enter Act Three must immediately choose a "low point" card for their character. This low point must be discarded by the end of the Act.

At the end of Act Three, all "Antagonist" cards must be revealed. The player with the highest number must defeat all, plus one from each player in the game. Any player with a "Deux Ex Machina" card can bow out of the Climax and continue to the Finish Line.

All "conflict" cards must be discarded before a player can advance across the Finish Line. Tally the number of character deaths, "adverb" cards, and "subplot" cards. The player with the highest score wins.

Make sure to buy Draft Two: The Game to continue the adventure!

I'm Aspiring.

Brad Jaeger has a new interview with me over on his blog. Check it out here.

My stupendously awesome crit partner, Stephanie, just joined twitter. Follow her @smloree, and at her blog here.

Steph is also hosting a giveaway for an ARC of Hounded over on GoodReads. Join the fun here.

And there's some newcomers here - make sure you check out the excerpt for my novel The Whip-Slip on Amazon. It's a quarter-finalist for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award! Excerpt can be accessed here. You can download a free Kindle reading app if you don't have a Kindle here.

Enjoy your weekend!

The Call.

Ring, ring!

"Hello?"

"Hi, Author."

"Who is this?"

"It's your Novel."

"Oh...hi."

"Where are you?"

"I was sleeping."

"I miss you, Author."

"Don't talk like that, Novel. I'm just taking a break."

"For how long?"

"Just a few days more."

"You said that last week."

"Well, I've been busy."

"With what?"

"Life!"

"What's that?"

"You wouldn't understand, Novel."

"Is it another book?"

"No, of course not. I just haven't had the time to sit down."

"But you have the time to sleep, obviously."

"Please, don't be like this."

"You said you'd take me through so many drafts, all the way to a publisher. Was that all a lie?"

"No! You just have to be patient."

"I could get any Author I want, you know. I don't need you."

"You don't think I miss your characters, and all your plot points? I love all of that, even your adverbs. Just let me get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Good night, Author."

"Good night, Novel."

Have you been neglecting your novel lately? Get to it!

Dear Movie Producer.

Fill in the blanks, Rongdoers.

Dear Movie Producer,

I read recently that you're about to cast the movie version of my favorite book, ----------------------.

For the starring role, I was sorry to hear you're considering -----------------------, whose recent foray into the world of -------------------------- should be taken into account.

Yes, I know you think ------------------ will be -------------------- and --------------------, perhaps appeal to the -------------- in all of us, but I do have concerns that you'd think such a choice wouldn't go unnoticed by the people who love and care for this series.

To be honest, the other movies you've done so far, including --------------------- and ------------------------ were really pretty darn ------------------.

Everyone knows it. Don't get all red in the face.

So, please, I beg you. Do not cast --------------------------- in this movie - and make sure you don't --------------------------. Because I love that character's hair.

Most sincerely,

[insert your name here]

Vote For Me.

Campaign Slogans for a Writer's Presidential Race:

Words We Can Believe In.

Changing the World, One Chapter at a Time.

No More Adverbs!

Writing Today, To Read Tomorrow.

Write For You, Right For Your Country.

Writing Prosperity Together.

Let's Write a New Draft.

Would I Lie To You?

The Author rose from her four-poster, stretched and yawned, then signaled the maid to brew coffee. She was still unused to waking at such a late hour, and to sleep in such a large bed! She gazed out at the pool beyond the veranda, and then to the line of convertibles parked in the drive.

It was amazing what a book deal could buy - and she'd only been writing for two weeks.

The phone rang. It was her literary agent.

"Hi there, just checking in," Agent said.

"Oh hello. I haven't even started writing yet."

"Don't worry about it. I just wanted to tell you how excited me and the publisher are to read the end of your book. You've got us on tenterhooks!"

"Well, I'm just happy you found me in the first place. I had no idea writing was so easy!"

"I'm just happy to have the work, Author. I've been so bored at the office. When I heard about your idea, I was thrilled. The publisher had so much money, anyway, and an author with so little experience is such a great hook for press!"

"Speaking of press, should I be doing anything to promote the book, once I finally finish my first draft?"

"Oh no, you don't have to do anything like that. Just stay in your mansion, and I'll make sure word gets out. It's going to be a bestseller, anyway, with an idea like you have."

"When does the publisher need a first draft by?"

"Whenever you can finish it. There's no rush. They're super-excited to see the whole thing."

"And they really don't mind grammar and spelling issues? I never got those down..."

"No problem. I'll give it a look-over. First drafts are usually what gets published, so I wouldn't worry about it. That's an editor's job."

"Wow. Thanks so much, Agent. This has been a dream."

"You sound tired. Maybe you should go back to bed."

"Yeah, I think I will. Maybe I'll just do some writing tomorrow. It's such a nice day."

"Enjoy!"

**

Have you read my excerpt for The Whip-Slip yet? It's a quarter-finalist for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. Link is here. If you don't have a Kindle, no problem. Just download a free reading app from Amazon here.

A Big Thank You.

Just a quick post to say how grateful I am for all of your condolences this week. I'm finally feeling more human today, and your comments helped get me there. I will even have a post for Monday.

The support of this writing community continues to amaze me. I bask in your awesomeness.

See you out there, Elena