Movie Monday: Excerpt #10

For all the newcomers, Movie Monday is a weekly meme wherein I read/act a 250-500 word submission for anyone who sends their work to esolodow at gmail dot com. Check on the sidebar for more videos or visit my YouTube channel via the link below. I'd love to film your excerpt!

A Ranger's Tale

by 

Mysti Parker

YouTube link is here.

No Place Like Home.

Yes, I made it back.

In two words, my trip to Toledo was "frakkin' awesome". I went to a wedding, met some nerds, saw the Evil Dead Musical in the "splatter zone", took some naps, did some writing, became an expert at putting someone else's hair in a pony tail (it's all in the wrists, baby), realized how very FLAT the midwest is, and played three very awesome games. My crit partner also found out she doesn't need surgery or a cast to heal her elbow. She only needs to wear a sling.

So, we do not have to feel bad for her anymore. Wink.

I have decided to extend my blog-cation through this week. I'll be around leaving comments on other blogs, etc., but I may have no posts on here until next Monday. 

Also, check out my blog buddy Florence's interview here and enter to win a $15 Amazon gift card.

Toledo Bound.

So on Tuesday my crit partner Steph tells me she "broke her arm".

Crit partner that I am, I immediately assume this is just an excuse to slack on her writing. So, I booked a ticket to Ohio and I'm headed out there to make sure this isn't some major scam.

Yep, I'm that kind of crit partner.

I may or may not be around this weekend. I'll be busy hanging with my invalid CP through Monday, so there will be no excerpt vlog.

I'm slowly making my way through the Crusaders list. Charge! Head over to Rachael's to meet some cool new bloggers.

Peace out.

Dear Crit Partner.

Fill in the blanks, Rongdoers.

Dear [Crit Partner],

I've received the -------- that you sent me. Next time, I'd appreciate it if you ----------------------, before you -----------------, but really, it's okay. What are crit partners for, right?

So, I read it, and crit partners are supposed to be ------------- and --------------------. We both know this.

I'll be honest.

------------------------------------------, and I -----------------------------------. Do not be -----------------------------------, or act ------------------------------- around me, cause deep down, I know ---------------------------------.

I want you to know that ------------------------------------. And that's okay.

I hope you understand. Look forward to the next one.

Sincerely,

[Fellow Crit Partner]

Whoops.

That wasn't the old version of your novel you just erased.

That agent's name was Asbotsky, not Assbuttsky.

That blog follower was not flirting with you.

That 400,000-word tome of yours really should be more like 70,000.

That glitter choked and killed Assbuttsky's cat.

That genre of yours already has a novel about sparkly vampires.

That full you sent was actually the first draft. Of your weddings vows.

That Google search engine thing brings up all those blog rants.

That word you thought was really advanced isn't actually a word.

That naked photo of you standing outside J.K. Rowling's castle is not appreciated by her lawyers.

That job you quit when you got a partial request (and then prompt rejection) won't re-hire you.

Mr. Phillips.

You are the winner of $38 mucho dinero big-buckeroos!

Please email me at esolodow at gmail dot com and we can discuss money transfer.

It was a close, close vote, and I want to thank EVERYONE for putting in their favorite and participating.

I'd call this contest an official success, and have the blogoverse to thank.

So...

What did you like about the contest? What didn't you like?

Any ideas for the next one?

What's your astrological sign?

Is there anything I can do for YOU to make your life better?

What are you currently working on?

What do you love most about this blog?

What do you hate most about this blog?

Any other questions or comments, leave 'em below.

And THANKS AGAIN!

Movie Monday: Excerpt #9

The Devil's Song

by

Ellie Garratt

YouTube link is here. 

Perfect.

I wrote a novel.

And it was perfect.

I gave it to my crit partner and made edits.

And it was perfect.

I sent it to agents and made edits.

And it was perfect.

My agent sold the novel and I worked with an editor.

And it was perfect.

My book released and got bad reviews.

And it was perfect.

I opened it up years later, read a bit.

And it was perfect.

Dear Author.

[Fill in the blanks, Rongdoers]

Dear Author,

I am writing in response to your ---------------------------. While I'm ---------------------------, I really don't think --------------------- or that ------------------------.

This is a subjective business, you know, and it's really important to ---------------------------.

While this may seem like a huge ------------------------------, please remember ----------------------------.

Oh, and ------------------------------. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Agent.

Crusade!

Come bloggers everywhere and join the CRUSADE!

Guaranteed no knights or dragons (unless you count my last excerpt vlog), but there will be networking, friendships, and streamers*.

The Crusade links together bloggers of similar genres to mingle and share content, create lasting bonds, run through meadows. You know the deal.

If not, read Twilight.

Head on over to Rachael Harrie's blog to sign up and read the full rundown.


*there will be streamers, right, Rachael?

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And Beth Overmyer is hosting a time-warp contest. Tell her what era (past or present) you want to travel to and why in less than 200 words.

Post your entry here.

-------
Still here?

Good.

Whodunnit?

I don't know Whodunnit. DL does. Hop on over to his blog to participate in his special clue contest. This ain't your average blogfest, folks. Put in your monocles, light your pipes, and dig out that plaid cap you thought was cool in the sixth grade.

-------
Here on this blog, everyone has the right to vote. So put in yours for the "Final 6" of my 100 Words for $100 Blogfest.

Here.

Through the Ages.

8th Century Writer:

Splat, splat. Splat, plat.

Dips hand in mud-paint.


Splat, splat. Splat, splat.


17th Century Writer:

Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch.

Dips quill in inkpot.


Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch.


20th Century Writer:

Clack, clack. Clack, clack.

Replaces typewriter ribbon.


Clack, clack. Clack, clack.


21st Century Writer:

Click click click click. Click click click click.

Checks Twitter, Blog, Facebook, Email.


Click click click click. Click click click click.

Checks Twitter, Blog, Facebook, Email again. 




**
Make sure to vote for the finalists in my 100 words for $100 blogfest here.

Movie Monday: Excerpt #8

Not Another Bard's Tale

by 

Jean Davis

YouTube link is here.

Bulletin.

I have decided to turn "Excerpt Vlog Fridays" into

Movie Monday!

(See the resemblance?)

This is the first time in my life I've been a writer/full-time worker/student/querier/critter/blogger/twitterer/friend/girlfriend/pet owner at the same time, so bear with me as I sort out a proper schedule.

Excerpts will remain the same, except I hope to have Hollywood funding sometime in the future.

The current (tentative) schedule is:

Jean Davis - February 7

Ellie Garratt - February 14

Mysti Parker - February 28

Donna Hole - March 7

Liz Fichera - March 14

And you?

For newcomers, the idea of an "excerpt vlog" is to submit 250-500 words of one of your writing projects, and I'll turn it into a mini-film. Sometimes costumes and accents are involved. So please join in the fun and submit to:

esolodow at gmail dot com

I look forward to excerpting.

**

I also want to point your attention to Fiction Mingle, an awesome site that combines a photo, 100 words, and an audio sample to create the ultimate creative experience!

I submitted 100 words for their Valentine's Day special, which should be up sometime today. Keep an eye out.

**

Have you voted for your favorite in the "Final 6" for my 100 Words for $100 Blogfest? If not, click here and have your say.



Pay It Forward.

Some of you may have heard about this already.

Shellie at Market My Words is hosting a Pay It Forward contest. If you've got a finished manuscript (or close-to-finished), all you have to do is submit your up-to four-sentence pitch on her blog and do a Pay It Forward post of your own, recognizing someone who has helped you along the writerly brick road.

If Shellie digs your pitch, she'll critique your query and first three chapters, and if you're uber-lucky, you may even end up with a personal recommendation to her agent, Alyssa Henkin, over at Trident Media Group.

I'm all for this. Who wouldn't be?

If Blogger allowed posts running close to 200,000 words, I could thank everyone who's helped me on this long, long,

LONGER

road of writing bliss. (And also copy/paste my first novel.)

But today, I'll go with the obvious.

1) Mom/Dad. The Parental Units. The spend-thousands-on-art-supplies and let-your-kids-make-their-own-Hollywood-films-with-uber-expensive-video-camera dude and dudette. They didn't even flinch when I told them I was going to make my own feature film...and write a novel...in the same year.

2) Big Sis. My kind, tender, practical, cool-headed protector. Always there when I need her - especially for a quick query critique.

3) Blondie Boyfriend. He writes contemporary fiction. Sometimes we have discussions.

4) Have I ever mentioned my crit partner on here? Ms. Steph. Met in September. She was my best friend by, well, September. The ups and downs. Easts and Wests. She's always been there. Thanks, lady-friend.


**
Vote for the "Final 6" in my 100 Words for $100 Blogfest here. Open until 2/14.

**
FOR THOSE ON TWITTER: I'm starting a new hashtag, #lastlinetoday. Every night before you sweet-dream, post the last line you wrote that day. Make sure to re-tweet and spread the word! Should be fun.

Crit Me.

VOTE for the "final 6" in my 100 Words for $100 Blogfest here.


The BEST critique you could ask for:

- The first sentence is missing the word "and".
- Your main character should be a man, not a woman.
- I don't think the alien abduction scene adds anything.
- You use the word "variancy" over 50 times in your manuscript.
- Hopefully the DVD of your novel will have an alternate ending - 'cause the one you have now is no good.


The WORST critique you could ask for:

- I really liked it. Don't change a thing.

I tried for 5 finalists...and failed.

January happily threw her doors wide for the onrush of 95-105 word sentences.

38 came in.

February 1st turned the humble blog narrator, Elena Solodow, into the poor man's version of a literary agent.

She had to choose the winners.

And she was unable to choose five.

So I chose six.

Entries were rated based on clarity & creativity. This was a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hard choice to make, as all of the sentences were absolutely amazing.

Those that didn't make the "top 6" qualify as Honorable Mentions. Here are the links to each entry:

Sandra Ulbrich Almazan
Views From the Bald Patch
Donea Lee
Summer Ross
Jean Davis
Mysti Parker
SugarScribe
Elaine AM Smith
Dominic de Mattos
Colene Murphy
Damyanti
Ellie Garratt
Elizabeth Twist
Liz Pezzuto
Jodi Henry
Conjugating Irregular Verbs
Jen Daiker
A.B. Keuser
Creative Chaos
Justin W. Parente
Myne Whitman
Stephanie Loree
Angela Felsted
Holly
salarsen
Reid Kemper
DL Hammons
Lucinda Bilya
Taylor Mathews
Morning AJ
Fabdestin

And now...THE FINALISTS!

1. Beth Overmyer

The very first thing I noticed when I died on that dreary and cold December sixth evening at precisely six o'clock plus six and sixty seconds—a mark of the beast of a burden that death was becoming—was that, although my eternal sleeping box was made of the finest cuts of pine and plywood, and despite the fact that the entire enclosure was lined with the best and most expensive stuffed leather and pleather, it was not well ventilated and there were red ants, which brought me to the following conclusion: death was dead uncomfortable and far too itchy.

2. Chris Phillips

Voter registration was a rush of freedom that could only be described as a Howard Hughes meets, John Lennon, meets the “Don’t taze me, Bro!” guy experience culminating their love of liberty the moment I marked down independent on my voter registration form as a giant “fuck it” to my right wing capitalist up-bringing that taught me never to question, never to look deeper, never to seek a justification, and to choke down the stench of it all; that suddenly decrescendoed into oblivion the instant the portly woman behind the counter gruffly slid my selective service registration across the counter.

3. Dan Klinefelter

It was on one of those blindingly bright January mornings for which a word like “cold” – a word used to describe a refreshing bottle of Bud on a hot afternoon, or day-old pizza, or that girl from the drum majors who unapologetically (and even a little cheerfully) rejected your prom invite louder than she needed to in the commons just after fifth period – just couldn’t come close to painting a picture, a day for which words like “blistering” and “frigid” were invented, a day in which the sun was little more than decoration, that Jack finally realized he loved Emily.



4. Liz Fichera

Green, sticky hot alien lava glows and bubbles all day and night inside a glass cylinder atop my desk, stretching and pulling its waxy distorted mass up and down and sideways like an anxious baby chick trapped endlessly in an eggshell hell, punching and kicking with wobbly but determined arms and feet, begging to hatch in an unfettered and greenless world, free from hypnotized human eyes and the cruel confines of its silent prison; the glowing goo battles for its independence inside the lamp, never winning, always losing, for as long as I remain Mistress of the Light Switch.

5. Candace Ganger a.k.a. Candyland

I want those buttermilk waffles you used to make on blustery winter mornings, the ones shaped like two tiny hearts stitched at the sides, because today I woke up with one of those knock-me-over feelings where the tip of my tongue clung to the pocket in my cheek like velcro, swollen with the mere thought of never seeing that smile on your face every time I asked for them; but then I remembered, with the sweet aroma disappearing in my mind forever, the taste of those sweet hearts will never touch my lips again, as long as I'm alive, without you...

6. Angela Scott

The blade caught the light, reflecting a cold glimmer across the watery surface which rippled with every miniscule movement I made, sending little waves to lick the sides of the bathtub while I breathed in and out in hopes of calming my twelve-year-old nerves that fretted in my chest as I held the plastic handle of the pink Daisy razor within inches of my bare, yet incredibly “Sasquatch-like” hairy legs—that’s what the kids at school call me—but I know I need to get on with it, make the first pass . . . so I can be just like the other girls.



Vote for your favorite in the comments. There's $38.00 up for grabs!

Voting will continue until February 14th. Spread the word plz - and to all those who entered and posted about the blogfest-contest: 

THANK YOU!!!

I'd call this thing an official success.