You Write. I'll Read.

Follow me on Instagram @esolomonk, or here!

Follow me on Twitter @esolodow!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Writer Pick-Up Lines.


How about you stop telling me stuff, and let me show you my apartment?

Hey, baby, I'm the antagonist to your protagonist. Let's get together and reach the climax.

I like your outline. What's your number?

I hear you like your drafts rough.

Do you wanna send a query? 'Cause I'm an agent of love.

I'll be your crit partner tonight.

Don't worry, babe, I've got a big word count.


  1. How's about you an' me do a little brain storming?

    Looks like your story needs some action. Why don't you come on over and I'll liven it up.

  2. I'm more prolific than Dickens...when it comes to dickens.

    I do most of my writing in the bedroom--come over and I'll show you my fountain pen.

    You're giving me a hardback--I mean a blockbuster--I mean an erection.

    I type sixty words per minute two hours day. *wiggle fingers and eyebrows*

    Or you could just use the sad, sad, old lonely Orwell one, which was something along the lines of, "Would you like to be the widow of a literary figure?" and terrified the young girl who lived down the hall. Poor Orwell...

  3. Oh my, how racy! I loved these. Hilarious way to start my morning, and the ones in the comments are great too. Haha.

  4. "Hey, baby, I'm the antagonist to your protagonist. Let's get together and reach the climax."

    LOL. Too cute!

  5. LOL- The word count one and the rough drafts are awesome!

  6. Love the protagonist/antongist line. Those are too funny and thanks for the warning.

  7. Writer/ artist pick-up lines that have been known to work. Want to come in and see my paintings? - There is this poem I'd really love to read you, got a minute? - I wrote this but it would sound better in your voice, would you read it to me? - there are more, so many more and I no longer need them, so have at them.

  8. I have to tell or show that first one to one of my crit partners. She'll love it!

  9. Absolutely fantastic! A much needed smile.

    Thanks :)

  10. Snort. Snort. Oh, my. Just wiping away the tears of laughter.

    Is that really your boyfriend because I have a delete button.

    How about you cut and paste me into your life?


What are you thinking about?