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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Crit Me.

VOTE for the "final 6" in my 100 Words for $100 Blogfest here.

The BEST critique you could ask for:

- The first sentence is missing the word "and".
- Your main character should be a man, not a woman.
- I don't think the alien abduction scene adds anything.
- You use the word "variancy" over 50 times in your manuscript.
- Hopefully the DVD of your novel will have an alternate ending - 'cause the one you have now is no good.

The WORST critique you could ask for:

- I really liked it. Don't change a thing.


  1. *off to vote!*

    Ha, very nice. Love the DVD snark.

  2. Hopefully the dvd of your novel will have a different ending..... oh man. This made me laugh out loud! I agree on the worst critique ever!

  3. The first critique is terrible because:

    a) you only noticed a grammar mistake in the first sentence? Does that mean there are no more grammar mistakes or did you just get to sentence two and think, "whoa nelly, I give up on grammar!"
    b) the critiquer is an obvious chauvinist pig.
    c) how can an alien abduction scene not add something?? It clearly adds an alien abduction.
    d) let's say the word variancy appears 60 times in a 60,000 word manuscript. That means variancy is only .001% of your manuscript.
    e) Your ending is terrible, but will inevitably land you a movie deal. if that is the case, why change it?

  4. I'm so open to criticism that I'd be cool with the alternate ending. Too funny!

  5. Yup, yup, yup...I agree with Chris

  6. When somebody tells me, "I really liked it. Don't change a thing," it's usually my Mom.

  7. The dvd one is funny! very creative.

  8. Hahaha you always leave me laughing!!! Loved the DVD line... oh and the aliens (regardless whether it adds anything or not it sounds awesome). Just sayin.

  9. Critiques are great when you get an honest one. My son gave me the best one ever that sent me on a long hard journey of rewrites and studying the craft.

    On my first novel (now stored in archives), my son said, "Mom, I really don't like reading Shakespear," after reading only the first few pages.

    I take critiques serious, but not too serious because I have butchered more than one manuscript trying to mold my writing to fit someone's critique.

    Critiques and advice are relatives...

  10. Getting lots of feedback is great, but you have to be able to sift through it.

  11. Yep, this pretty much rocked my morning :D LOVE the alternate ending jab! Must incorporate that one in my feedback from now on...

    Great post!

  12. LOL, DVD version. That's brilliant. Does it come with author commentary too?

  13. LOL. Loved the DVD line. And what's wrong with alien abductions? Just because I'm writing an 18th Century bodice ripper doesn't mean a couple of aliens can't beam into chapter nine and kidnap the serving wench. Honestly. What do these critiquers know?

  14. *snort* yea great critique... my dad once read a short horror story of mine and gave it back with the words "lovely, sweetheart". Uhm... so not what I was going for.

    *runs off to check out finalists*

  15. No, no, no...

    I'm sorry, I have to disagree with you on your third point. Rather, there should be an alien abduction in EVERY novel. I found all of Jane Austin's books entirely lacking because of this. :)

  16. I gave my MS to a friend to read, and she said, "It's perfect. Don't change anything." Later I told her I cut out almost an entire chapter, and she said good because she didn't really like that chapter.

  17. Dear Elena,

    Wow, I really liked this post. Don't change a thing.

    A Smart-ass.


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