The colon: punctuation that in no way resembles your internal organ. It really looks like a vampire bite, so the colon should hereby be baptized: the fang mark.
The semi-colon; proud to be colon’s temptressy little sis. She's got a perpetual wink; sleeps with one eye open like a possum.
The period. Which has no relation to "that-time-of-the-month". The period. Relies heavily. On other forms of punctuation. To precede it. Because. It's. Too. Jumpy. To. Use. Between. Every. Word. The period. Like an engine that won't. Start. Period is. The death of a sentence. Period. Can be known as. The scythe.
The comma, that yellow light. You can stop, like this, or you can go on through and hope that light doesn't change to red. If it does, you just keep on driving until you get to the next light. Comma watches for period all the time, just waiting for the endless stream to, finally, lastly, immutably, come to an end. Comma could go on, always and always, into forever, and forever, and forever
, until it reaches the stars and meets apostrophe. She's a player. Girl's worked hard to get a position that's so high up. She'd be stupid to lose it , but it's not like she couldn't come down every once in a while when she's inclined to.
The exclamation point is the only one who can reach her way up there! The exclamation point stands on period's neck and stretches so high up! Man, look at him climb!
When he's tired, he just rests on the level ground of the dash - always there when needed. Just a little break, because - like most things - you gotta stop sometime. Dash travels - horizontally, of course - over the land, seeing - touching, smelling, tasting - all the world has to offer. He brings back - like the loyal friend he is - presents for all the other punks. Most of them - here's looking at you semi-colon - appreciate it -
but now that we've come to the end of this post, what happens next? Do you have any questions? Is there a mainstream punctuation mark that I missed? How about you leave your own punk in the comments? Or do you think you're not appreciated? Do you feel like you're screaming into cyberspace and no one's listening? Well, how about you just try to leave a comment? What if I'm waiting desperately for your input and you never take the plunge?
"No, really, everyone, I love your comments. Keep them coming. Let's start a dialogue with these handy quotation marks."
"They're like cat scratches."