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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Can I ask you something?

I'm not a fan of hate.  To be a hypocrite, I hate the word hate.  So instead of 10 Questions Writers Hate, the theme for my post today is actually:

10 Questions Writers Severely Dislike:

1. Can I borrow your laptop for a bit?

2. Why can't you just send agents your first draft?

3. There are no vampires in your book?

4. Is this draft different from your last one?

5. Do you dream all of your endings?

6. Why are your books so depressing?

7. What other hobbies do you have?

8. What do you do for a real job?

9. Did you remember to buy ink cartridges?

10. You wrote this whole thing?


Do you have any questions to add to the list?

15 comments:

  1. I love your list! And I especially agree with numbers 1, 8, and 10. :)

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  2. I also severely dislike these questions. :) My top one is: Why isn't your novel published yet?

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  3. I have gotten so bad that my poor little family just has to walk up to me and I already hate their question ~ before they ask it. Bad mommy-writer! Great list!The ink cartridge one made me break out in a sweat. O.O

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  4. At least folks ask you about your writing. Where I work, they just view me as some strange life form that sits in a corner, scribbling on his break time.

    Oh, one did ask me this question : "Do you really think this stuff is gonna sell?"

    Always a great post, Roland

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  5. 11. You're writing another one?
    12. Why can't you finish the last one?
    13. Can't you go to bed earlier?

    OMG THE LIST GOES ON

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  6. haha! Great list! Here's one: Why don't you just publish it yourself so you can spend more time on other stuff?

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  7. It doesn't take that long to write a book, does it?

    Where do you get your ideas?

    I severely dislike the latter question. The next time I'm asked it I'm going to answer: from annoying questions like this one.

    :D

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  8. Jean beat me to the punch with her suggestion. I suspect one of her rabid cyborg attack weasels might have sneaked her a cyborg telepathy helmet. No fair Jean!

    So, instead I offer...

    I've written a novel too, would you mind reading it and telling me what you think?

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  9. Hey, I have this way-cool idea. Why don't you write it up for me and we can go halvezies?

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  10. Excellent list. The question I severely dislike is similar to Shannon's: I've led a really interesting life -- would you write my memoir?

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  11. Great list. I've 2, which are more statements than questions.

    1. grandiose - "I've always felt I have a novel in me."
    (well just write it then)
    2. accusing - "You took that bit in chapter 3 from my life."
    (actually, no I didn't - it's fiction - you know - made up?)

    If you watch authors being interviewed on TV you'll see them all stiffen when they are inevitably asked where they get their ideas and if they model them on real people.

    Grace

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  12. @TK Thanks!

    @Jean Yeah, I've gotten that one before. From the outside, it must look like we're just obsessing over nothing.

    @Michelle Sorry about the sweat. Here's a towel, haha.

    @Roland I think there should be a documentary on writers who work in offices...strange breed.

    @Jessica Lei Love #13! haha

    @ second Jessica Yeah, that's a good one. Because doing all your own self-promotion is super-easy!

    @Hannah Perhaps we should draw them a map to our ideas. It'll leave them stranded on a parkway somewhere.

    @Botanist Yeah, that's a good one!

    @Shannon That person will undoubtedly bring only adverbs and unnecessary backstory to the table.

    @Jennifer I've never gotten that one before - it's a good one.

    @wordfoolery Great additions to the list! The novels we read on the shelves make it look so easy? People think, I can write that. Little do they know...

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  13. haha great list. The question I dislike is if you're so talented, why aren't you published yet? Or anything along the lines of doubting the time and work I've done!

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  14. SO true! #1 is a huge no no for me. Add to your list, "Can't you just stop writing for a few minutes so we can do ______?"
    That always kills me.... What? Stop in the middle of my zone??? I may never get it back in the same way!! :)
    I'm your brand new follower. Cheers!

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  15. This is great! You've inspired me to post a "top 10 indicators that you're a writer" as a follow-up.

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