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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Another Blog Post. I mean, Block Post.

Writer's Block is one of the greatest nemeses (nemesis'?  I don't think Buffy ever clarified that one) out there.

He/She/It/That can change form at will, and much like a boggart, take the shape of that which you fear the most. 

That Fear then leads to extreme paralysis of your gray/pink/brown matter (I'm color-blind, folks), and the novel/short story/screenplay/thank you note you're currently working on is nothing more than a blinking cursor on your flat-screen monitor.

Blink.  Blink.  Blink. 

No doubt Writer's Block appeared in the form of a cat when a certain Brit decided to throw said cat into a dumpster **(GOOGLE: BRITISH LADY CAT DUMPSTER)**

Now that lady can finish writing her shopping list in peace!


But in all seriousness -

hahahahahahaha!

Okay, that wasn't a good start.  In all manner of sarcasm, here is a list of

HOW TO AVOID WRITER'S BLOCK

- Blindfold the Block, spin it around, and send it to Stephen King's house in dizzied confusion.  That guy has written enough books already.

- Drink water upside down and hold your breath for thirty seconds.  (Oh wait, that's hiccups...)

- Pretend that you're actually writing by going like this on your keyboard:

dkdfkjl;adfkjoer092843jkl;dfjkl;asdfjkl;asdfja

Writer's Block will think you're immune to he/she/it/that's ways and leave you alone.

- Drink Scotch upside down and cry uncontrollably.  (Oh wait, that's just me...)

- Show him/her/it/that a copy of Spencer Pratt's forthcoming biography and explain that had he/she/it/that been doing their job correctly, they would have known that Mr. Pratt needed to catch Writer's Block far more than someone like yourself.  Writer's Block will agree, fall into a deep depression, and take a leave of absence.

- Paint a train tunnel on the side of your house and hope he/she/it/that runs into it and gets squished.


Now it's your turn.  What can be added to the list?

1 comment:

  1. As much as I wish scotch could bring about the end of my writer's block, the only thing that seems to get me out of it is writing!

    Ironic AND true!

    ReplyDelete

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